Stress!! You must be joking!!

So they had a stress management workshop for all the army wives in the cantonment the other day. A noted psychologist was invited to speak on the occasion. All the ladies of the station were invited except the separated families!! I felt these are the ones who needed the workshop first and the foremost!! These are the ones who spend long, lonely, anxious hours day and night. But no! this time again I missed the point!!
I have a friend whose husband is posted in Siachen. Few days back when we met she was having severe hypertension which resulted in endless sleepless nights. She was upset because due to security reasons her husband and his men were supposed to sleep in bunkers. Siachen has low oxygen levels plus staying in a bunker reduces them further as a result he was pretty unwell. It seems for all our serving officers and their better halves here in the station thought that she actually didn’t need a stress management class!!
There’s another lady who has not been able to talk to her husband for the past ten days due to difficult terrain. He is deployed at a far off mountainous post. She has two daughters one of whom is a severe case of asthma. The authorities very rightly felt that this mother didn't need a stress management class either!! Another separated army wife was forcibly made to vacate the accommodation only because of the reason that some serving officers in the station were still living in temporary accommodation. While she a meagre separated wife with two small kids was living in a permanent one!! How could she? Her husband was not serving in the station but at the country’s border, how can she claim to live in a huge comfortable house!! No not done. Plus whats the need to need a stress management class!

So let’s see who all need stress management class. Firstly, are the ones who play mah-jong in the mornings to tear away the previous night’s party’s strain. You know how stressful it is to sleep late and get up late! Second are the ones who need to show off the brand new dress, oh! It can become really stressful when you don’t have an occasion to show that latest addition in your wardrobe. Third are the ones whose hubby’s promotion is due and you just can’t apprehend how stressful it is if the boss’s wife doesn’t smile back!!

Yes! I think these ladies need a stress management class more then seperated ones. You see army is never wrong!!

A Tiger Never Cries

When was the last time you witnessed a male army officer cry his heart out in front of the full media glare? Never! True! For them it is erroneous and sinful to pronounce the stress and strain faced infront of anyone, let alone the media. It’s just that our men don’t snivel and sob or let public their troubles, just as a tiger never cries. They are a breed apart, positive to the core even in the most downbeat circumstances. Its only when you do a peek-a-boo you realize that our army is plagued by something commonly known as PAS i.e. Pressure, Anxiety and Stress syndrome. It’s not only about the pays, perks and promotions; there are a number of issues which on a day- today basis take a heavy toll on an army officer and his family mentally as well as emotionally.

Indian army boasts of giving the country maximum number of beauty queens but what about the boys? Just how many Karan Thapars can you think of?

• Majority of stations do not have good schools and one is left with only two choices- either the family stays separated or compromises on the child’s school. A third option would be of sending the child to a boarding school. But!! Think boarding school, think money, where again an army officers’ child takes a beating. Children are given high-class exposure right from the beginning like horse riding, swimming, tennis, basketball golf etc. Hence, an extremely good schooling is just a natural extension which sadly is not in many cases. A better salary might help to some extent.
  


• There are instances of couples staying together only for 3-4 years in their 11-12 years of marriage. Rest goes into the field tenures. An oft repeated incident is of children calling their dads, Uncles, who come home after a long period. By the time they get used to their brand new papas its time to say goodbye again. Field tenures should not be very often.
  


• When an army officer goes on a posting he along with his family has to stay for 3-4 months in a room provided by the officer mess, since a temporary accommodation is allotted only after a waiting period of 3-4 months. The temporary accommodations though comfortable stay can be nightmarish if stay over guests land up. By the time a nice and spacious permanent accommodation is allotted the posting is due again. Marriage Accommodation Project(MAP) should be started in all the stations
  


• A lot of army officers are these days facing rejection in marriage proposals since girls are becoming more and more career oriented and the only job possible for an army wife is that of teaching which not many opt for.
  

These things though ostensibly trivial do become core issues in a soldier’s life. Something needs to be done immediately rather than merely politicising the issue or else this tribe of jubilant jolly good fellows will be an endangered one.