War? Just think about this....

A lot is being covered in the media about a possible war in the near future. The question being repeatedly asked in all the channels and news papers is whether we are ready for war. But to me the real question is- are the soldiers, their families ready for the war? I have a friend who is a new army wife and if we go to war her husband being the infantry man would be the first one to leave along with thousands of others. This would leave an equal number of spouses back home. So what is being done for them? There is a saying that God handpicks special girls to be army wives so where does a war leave a girl who very proudly wedded the olive green.

They experience loneliness, lack of communication, routine emotional upheavals on a regular basis. For an army wife the presence of the military is so strong it is almost like a third partner in the marriage. But in many cases this third partner is the quickest one to leave her in case of some mishap. Once, the then Minister of Defence Mr O Rajagopalan said that the military wives are a national responsibility. I really appreciate his comments. But comments take us nowhere. Standing firmly behind our nation’s heroes these wives do also need a firmer back support.

With so much of media hype I know a lot of military families feel a bit lost right now. They quite honestly don't know what the future holds for them. There are hundreds of issues that are important to the all the army personnel and all of their dependents which need immediate attention. These having been gathering dust in the files and may never even see the daylight.

And lastly whether or not there is a war what is actually needed is a rock solid plan A and plan B for the families to fall back on. Is anybody listening? Rahul Gandhi? We need you here….

A Tiger Never Cries

When was the last time you witnessed a male army officer cry his heart out in front of the full media glare? Never! True! For them it is erroneous and sinful to pronounce the stress and strain faced infront of anyone, let alone the media. It’s just that our men don’t snivel and sob or let public their troubles, just as a tiger never cries. They are a breed apart, positive to the core even in the most downbeat circumstances. Its only when you do a peek-a-boo you realize that our army is plagued by something commonly known as PAS i.e. Pressure, Anxiety and Stress syndrome. It’s not only about the pays, perks and promotions; there are a number of issues which on a day- today basis take a heavy toll on an army officer and his family mentally as well as emotionally.

Indian army boasts of giving the country maximum number of beauty queens but what about the boys? Just how many Karan Thapars can you think of?

• Majority of stations do not have good schools and one is left with only two choices- either the family stays separated or compromises on the child’s school. A third option would be of sending the child to a boarding school. But!! Think boarding school, think money, where again an army officers’ child takes a beating. Children are given high-class exposure right from the beginning like horse riding, swimming, tennis, basketball golf etc. Hence, an extremely good schooling is just a natural extension which sadly is not in many cases. A better salary might help to some extent.
  


• There are instances of couples staying together only for 3-4 years in their 11-12 years of marriage. Rest goes into the field tenures. An oft repeated incident is of children calling their dads, Uncles, who come home after a long period. By the time they get used to their brand new papas its time to say goodbye again. Field tenures should not be very often.
  


• When an army officer goes on a posting he along with his family has to stay for 3-4 months in a room provided by the officer mess, since a temporary accommodation is allotted only after a waiting period of 3-4 months. The temporary accommodations though comfortable stay can be nightmarish if stay over guests land up. By the time a nice and spacious permanent accommodation is allotted the posting is due again. Marriage Accommodation Project(MAP) should be started in all the stations
  


• A lot of army officers are these days facing rejection in marriage proposals since girls are becoming more and more career oriented and the only job possible for an army wife is that of teaching which not many opt for.
  

These things though ostensibly trivial do become core issues in a soldier’s life. Something needs to be done immediately rather than merely politicising the issue or else this tribe of jubilant jolly good fellows will be an endangered one.